By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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