I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
