and you said cock pushups were impossible
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
