The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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