Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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