dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
