I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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