Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
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I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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