just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
