I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize