I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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