There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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