I cockslap morals
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
