By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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