Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
