you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
