i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
