fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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