Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize