just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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