i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I love having hate sex.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
