We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
