Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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