Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
