where am i from again
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
my liver is dry heaving
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
