we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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