It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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