It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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