Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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