Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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