oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize