Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
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Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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