I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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