Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize