Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.

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  (646): I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister. http://tfl.nu/fqyo
  Replies (26) Good night (9266) Bad night (1436)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.

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  (503): I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz. http://tfl.nu/wgvl
  Replies (84) Good night (2233) Bad night (6327)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.

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  (863): I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car. http://tfl.nu/95eu
  Replies (27) Good night (6060) Bad night (725)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR

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  (804): no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR http://tfl.nu/vnpf
  Replies (10) Good night (1001) Bad night (5292)
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  (415): View more from California

  I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"

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  (415): I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?" http://tfl.nu/fnwu
  Replies (11) Good night (8223) Bad night (1286)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.

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  (716): You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy. http://tfl.nu/mzkt
  Replies (9) Good night (3217) Bad night (1120)
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  (559): View more from California

  Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?

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  (559): Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room? http://tfl.nu/fqub
  Replies (10) Good night (2373) Bad night (1062)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.

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  (512): Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality. http://tfl.nu/tw8x
  Replies (7) Good night (2288) Bad night (794)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.

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  (517): Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B. http://tfl.nu/djpk
  Replies (12) Good night (2788) Bad night (1538)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct

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  (616): I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct http://tfl.nu/hig4
  Replies (4) Good night (1077) Bad night (524)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.

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  (610): Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout. http://tfl.nu/wlac
  Replies (10) Good night (932) Bad night (541)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.

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  (330): Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive. http://tfl.nu/6c5n
  Replies (3) Good night (739) Bad night (366)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?

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  (407): Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now? http://tfl.nu/dq80
  Replies (4) Good night (749) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.

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  (210): If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this. http://tfl.nu/pefz
  Replies (0) Good night (536) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..

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  (306): I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister.. http://tfl.nu/zxwo
  Replies (5) Good night (283) Bad night (70)

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