Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  I faked an abortion last night.

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  (914): I faked an abortion last night. http://tfl.nu/q8tt
  Replies (20) Good night (823) Bad night (2863)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?

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  (216): there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed? http://tfl.nu/x18l
  Replies (2) Good night (1799) Bad night (1652)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers

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  (484): Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers http://tfl.nu/tvan
  Replies (2) Good night (2315) Bad night (723)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.

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  (506): oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier. http://tfl.nu/v0so
  Replies (2) Good night (2253) Bad night (1251)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.

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  (845): Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent. http://tfl.nu/xb5q
  Replies (5) Good night (2248) Bad night (641)
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  (845): View more from New York

  if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party

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  (845): if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party http://tfl.nu/vtss
  Replies (8) Good night (4031) Bad night (815)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.

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  (780): I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe. http://tfl.nu/j3zt
  Replies (13) Good night (964) Bad night (2273)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.

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  (740): omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause. http://tfl.nu/xm5u
  Replies (5) Good night (1546) Bad night (544)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"

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  (843): It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?" http://tfl.nu/owjc
  Replies (3) Good night (875) Bad night (515)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them

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  (608): just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them http://tfl.nu/tyvr
  Replies (4) Good night (850) Bad night (459)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate

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  (610): our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate http://tfl.nu/08mc
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (356)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.

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  (315): I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went. http://tfl.nu/eb4a
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (412)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day

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  (804): He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day http://tfl.nu/tx1z
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (247)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings

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  (814): Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings http://tfl.nu/8ytt
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (329)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand

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  (775): He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand http://tfl.nu/fp7g
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (302)

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