Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Randomize
