he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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