Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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