I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
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Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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