ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize