Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
areolas are like halos for boobs.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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