she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
