he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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