i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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