Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize