I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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