He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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