Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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