Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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