Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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