I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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