Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
