I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
