Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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