do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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