apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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