u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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